YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
When I Was Not A Zombie When I was not a zombie I heard a wise man say, ‘Use guns and flames and bullets But keep your brains away; Give mush away, and dog food, But keep the humans free.’ But I was not a zombie, No use to talk to me. When I was not a zombie I heard him say again, ‘They lurch out of the shadows And then they eat your brain; ’Tis gnawed with moans a-plenty And then enzombies you.’ And I am now a zombie, And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.
Shall I compare thee to the somber dead?
Thou art more mobile and more desperate.
Rough winds don't touch a coffin-buried head,
And funerals hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often cause the dead things to decay;
And every life from life sometime declines,
By chance, or since you've gnawed its limbs away.
But thy eternal moaning shall not fade
Nor lose possession of such "life" thou hast;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal mad undeath thou last,
So long as men have brains on which to feed,
So long lurch you, in everlasting greed.
There once lived a man with a zombie defense plan;
He loaded his ammo and had a gun for each hand.
He wore a tactical vest packed with gear, ready for combat, for anything , he feared.
With a long knife on his hip, and one secured to his back, he slipped on his black gloves, ready for the attack.
As the undead started gathering around, he stepped from the shadows, and mowed dozens down.
He was quite proud of himself and what he had done, as he yelled out in excitement “come get some !”
His rifle blasted away when he heard a small click, so he changed to his pistols real damn quick!
Then his head turned sharply as his ears heard a sound, “Daddy are you finished playing the game, ’cause you look like a clown!