vague ego centric boy writes about girls

today i meditated and sought the place where i began.
i walked through the void, back home, i then crawled into the back of my mind. through the forest over soft cool soil through the cold heat of winter night guided by the pull of my heart and the currents of the spirit that we breathe in with every jaded and taken for granted breath.

i was instructed to see only a light, but it was continiously eclipsed by an equal dark. I'm trying to resolve this, but like i said... i was going back to where i started... long before i made my choice in which side to represent.

on i crawled, weak, pathetic, powerless... i came across a stone by my lake, i sat and bled for days. i waited for her with the key to all virtue and the deepest truth we may know here... patience... i knew she would come, but i wasn't sure if i would stay in the body long enough for her to arrive... the bleeding was not slowing and the dreams were becoming nightmares. I knew i was dying. 

In the distance in between the sacred silence and sleep i saw a hooded apparation gliding up through the decayed leaves in the distance, i wondered if it was an illusion, if this was a dream, or if it was just another nightmare. 

the dark and the light that only i could feel began to fade into a warmth that took the blood, the bleeding, the on coming storm of death was turned into a lie. 

my scabbed up wings crumpled in her light and i almost felt my lips smile. a tear freed itself from my closed eye and i whispered, "I have missed you so much love"
she sat beside me and took my hand then embraced me.

we talked for hours. i told her of my misery, my wishes, my dreams and my truth.
she found these things to be rather funny and irellevent. try telling god about your dreams and goals one day, see what she says. watch her eyes as she laughs, it's a beautiful fucking experience...

after i was done telling her the funniest joke she'd heard in a while she told me her truth, of my mission, my meaning, her faith and love. i promised her i'd find a way to save her world. i told her i'd make sure to find a way regardless of the cost. 

she took me to my lake where i'd cleansed so many diseases, where i had drowned countless demons and where i'd hidden so much evil. she undressed me and we played in the currents light pulls. she kissed my wings and soothed my wounds... i begged her to stay but she said she must go.

for the world and i are but her creations, fort his world is merely her dreams and thoughts... we walked back to our stone, smiling in tears. she kissed me once more and bid me farewell.

i stared off to the east and felt my wings tatterred by the cold. the chill enveloped all of me yet i felt at peace. she went north back to the veil to return to her slumber of creation, as i felt this home of mine dissipate and i was returned to the material world of hell and flesh.

i miss her still and i promise to find a way. i wont let her down.
dont lose this memory. please keep the faith.
please have faith in me.