Wicked Zombies


I knew this would happen sooner or later. The question was, how soon?


Of course, I thought about that over and over, but I wasn't really that worried. In fact, I was more of: Live in the now, not the past or future. Because if I think too much about those times, my anxiety overcomes me and I lose myself in stress.


Today, my boyfriend finally admitted that he lost his feelings for me. I could feel the rapid decline in our relationship, I could tell that things were going wrong. There was really nothing I could do to fix it either. I did my best. So I have no regrets.


I am now single, and very much hurt, but you know, I'll be okay, like I've always been. If I've made it through 15 years of abuse, many boyfriends who used and abused me, and countless times of harassment and bullies, then I am damn well going to live through a break up. If I haven't killed myself before, there is no point in killing myself now. The magic may be gone, but I know that it'll probably be back some day. If I leave this world now, then that's a permanent answer: No going back.


Instead, I'll take what I've learned, and do even better the next time around.


I'm sick of life though, I will admit. When I want to be happy and do better, and even smile in front of the pain, life says, "Oh yeah? Well how about this?" and dumps more shit into my life. It wasn't enough that I have to stress about raising my grades. Suddenly I'm dealing with my sister in the hospital with an eating disorder, on top of dealing with two suicidal friends with the same basic issues of ex's treating them terribly, and now a break up. What's next? I'm going to go ahead and brace myself for the death of my cat next. I don't know anything that could be worse than that, other than losing another family member, but I don't think life is going to take it to that step yet.


Haha life. The joke is on you. I'm still smiling and having fun even after my break up. So you can go fuck yourself dammit. =.=


I love you all. Never take your life, no matter what. Things will be okay again later.

Views: 30


You need to be a member of Wicked Zombies to add comments!

Join Wicked Zombies

Comment by Redrum: the undead juggalo on June 13, 2011 at 2:04pm

tell ya the truth i never understood folks being suicidal.

i no idea the pain involved...the desire to end it all....such things never entered my mind.

when i was young, going through the rough shit that my life was dealing me, i kept a bit of wisdom my mom told me once.

she told me no matter how heavy the load we bare, we must keep moving forward.

we carry the weight no matter how it slows us down.

just keep moving forward.


Comment by Komrad Lady Sunyak on June 1, 2011 at 2:28pm

I would say I'm sorry but it sounds like you're not too sorry about it. His loss anyway!

Comment by Cheri Zarvall on May 30, 2011 at 11:49pm
I used to be suicidal, remember? I know how you feel, hun, but I couldn't have said it better. Life sucks, but that doesn't mean everything is lost.

Wicked Books

Our Sponsors

View more gifts at Zazzle.

WICKED ZOMBIES members appreciation.

The WICKED member who has unyielding Dedication and Loyalty to the KOMRADZ:


The WICKED member who has Outstanding Constancy:

Jessie W. Garrett III

The WICKED member who Contributed the most Original Zombie Discussions and Replies:


They will receive a WICKED ZOMBIES Goody Box with Wicked Treats.

Blog Posts

Going through a lot


   Well, wanted to juststop in and check on things...Been a long time since I have stopped by...Well things are not going as well as I would have hoped, but, you know, that's life...

   Some good things are my son, has turned 18 and has also graduated high school...I'm very proud of him...He has plans of going back to school after the getting a job and saving money for the school with the music production studies he wants to do...So I am very proud of…


Posted by Jessie W. Garrett III on June 26, 2023 at 1:00am

© 2024   Created by Komrad Venessa Wicked☭.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Groups Forum Videos Photos Blogs Invite You Friends My Page Main Page