On the Road

I was cruising to my job station in my piece of shit oldsmobile when I saw this big crowd of people banging on the doors I popped my Glock out of my holster at first I thought they were theifs after all there were some pretty choice rides but there was something different bout these theifs I mean who the fuck tries to rob a place in broad daylight?

And that's when the charged me I didn't even have time to finish my thought when they came I shot once in the chest and one in the head one of them went down but there were 50 more where that came from I bolted thinking I could get around back to the rear entrance before they got me

I thought I was pretty fast but these guys holy shit now THEY were fast they were on my ass all the way to the back gate which just my fucking luck was closed so I had to climb it like a mexican wanting to get into the US sorry but the politically incorrect inanalogy but in times like these fuck it

Where was I? Oh yeah I climbed over the fence and ran to the door with another bout of bad luck the door was locked I stared pounding hoping praying someone was there I was literally screaming "OPEN THE DOOR FOR FUCK SAKE OPEN THE DOOR THEY'RE COMING" and they were boy they were there were hundreds now charging against the gate the gate started shaking and came down but then before I knew it I was pulled in when I whirled around to punch I saw Steven a guy I worked with at the garage which reminds me I was a security guard at the Hot Rods Garage

Well I said to Steve "What the hell are you doing here?" he answered smugly "Saving your ass now you want a car because I'm taking one not like anyone's gonna stop us all the cops are either dead or one of them" as he motioned toward the door and then said "Your not gonna try to stop are you?" I answered "Hell no just as long as I get Gloria" Steve smiled and we walked into the showroom

I looked around and said to my friend "Which one you want?" he said "I want that one" he pointed toward the Jet Black 1967 Camaro I told him "Steve? That's a fat chicks car!" he replied good naturedly "Fuck you, think you can do better?" and I did I waltz on over to my ride a 1967 Cobra White I loved that car the moment I saw it and vowed one day it'd be mine I said "Yeah I can" Steve shrugged in agreement and we loaded up both cars with as much gas as we could get I loaded mine with nearly 154 gallons including the tank hoping it could take me as far as I needed

Steve nodded and I opened the door looked inside and as always keys in the ignition I looked back up smiled and said "Been nice knowing you Steve see ya on the road" I climbed into Gloria as I called her turned the key and let her purr as I put in the one CD I dreamed of playing inside that car and the first track it was Gloria by Them I turned it all the way up and roared down the showroom floor

When I got to the side entrance where the cars entered and exited I didn't even bother opening it I simply crashed through it with the song Gloria still blasting I made a quick right turned down Center street and sped down it at over 100 dodging a few zeds left and right I had to take side streets to get out thankfully the showroom wasn't too far from Route 66

I drifted off Center and onto the Route and sped down it, the Route was completely clear not a car of a zombie or a tumbleweed in sight so I let Gloria out and we roared and I mean ROARED down the Route at over 160 then 170 and then we peaked at 189 miles per hour and we just leveled off right there and kept at the speed the whole time

God it was the single greatest moment of my life sitting there in Gloria hair waving in the immense wind CD player barely audible over the engine and now here I sit plopped right down next to ol' Gloria telling you this story now what you might be asking yourself is this why steal a muscle car? why not steal something more practical?

Well the reason I stole Gloria is that now that there are no laws the world is your playground do with it as you will and live by my motto Do what you love and Love what you do and you'll never go wrong now

My Name is Pete Pierpont and That's the way it is