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What Would You Do... (Real from a long time ago, no longer an issue)

What would you do if you thought you loved a person who mistreated you? How would you deal with your thoughts? Would you feel horrified knowing that even though you hate them, your thoughts keep returning to them, fondly? Could you be angry with yourself for harboring those feelings?

 

Sometimes my brain betrays me, loves to torment me, no matter how much I plead or beg for it to stop. It puts past traumas on repeat in my mind, sparks painful thoughts, images, and things unpleasant. It isn't my choice, I have no control, unless I am taken by surprise into another topic. What is it like to be in full control of the mind? Somebody, anybody, please tell me, I need to know if it's at all possible for me to gain control. Please help release me from this pain; I'm afraid I am slowly losing my sanity.

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Comment by Komrad Dead Warrior☭ on April 23, 2011 at 4:48pm
You need a friend someone who REALLY cares and some positive advice!
Comment by Komrad Lady Sunyak on April 23, 2011 at 3:25pm
Delete Comment You need to understand that you deserve better, even if the person you're with tells you otherwise. I was with someone who was always mad at me for no reason and made me feel like I was nothing for 4 years so I understand the strange reasons that you stay, and none of them have anything to do with love. Someone who loves you doesn't treat you badly all the time and when you love someone you are happy when you're with them. No one is worth you losing your sanity and you're the only one who can change your situation. You can't make the other person change no matter how hard you try. And believe me, it might take a while for you to want to be in a relationship after this one ends. I was alone for 2 years before I met my man and it's all because I didn't think I could trust anyone. And now I have a great guy and it's all because I decided that I needed better for myself.  

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It's been awhile since I have been home here on Wicked Zombies...I've been doing so much searching within this outer world of life...

   I've since gotten re-married and have been working back in security for the last couple of years. Have started back writing again and have purchased an actual house. It's hard being away from my family even though I need to work and support them, but it's a shame a person has to work so much that they miss their kids growing up...

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