The Thief

I'm the best at what I do, if they want it I can get it no matter what. I'm a professional theif and now that most of my clients are former art curators who've worked at museum overrun on the east coast I suppose I'm not stealing. But hey who cares I'm doing the right thing so I sleep well at night but I sleep even better with some gold too. See actual paper money is worthless now we've gone back to gold, copper, silver, diamonds, and such. So whenever I go to a museum I 'wet my whistle' with a few pounds of gold.

So I sat there in my overfortified adobe brick house in the mojave cooking up some spaghetti and meat sauce with some nice meatballs. I barely heard the phone over the stereo playing LL Cool J. But when I did I ran over grabbed the phone and remote turned it off and said "Yo" and walked back to the pot where my sauce was. The voice said "You Brian?" I said "Who's asking?" the voice replied "My name is Walther-" I butted in "Like the pistol?" he answered "Yeah like the pistol now I am a connoisseur if you will of diamonds and have almost every diamond I'd want except for one you know which one I want don't you?" I replied "The Hope Diamond you know it's cursed right?" I man laughed "You really believe in that shit? Well at the Smithsonian there's over 4 tons of gold bars how would you like that?" I dropped the wooden spoon I was using to stir the sauce.

"4 tons?" the man's voice sounded more confident "Yes 4 tons but here's the problem as I'm sure you know Washington DC is in a floodplain and I've been told that the levees and pumps used to keep water out are failing due to lack of maintenace so we have a very small window" I replied "Well there's not a moment to lose you'll have your precious diamond in a week's time" Walther was about to reply when I hung up and called my buddy Mitch he answered "Hello?" I said "Sorry I woke you hombre we got a job the pay is 4 tons in gold bars can I count you in?" Mitch said "Hells yeah where's the op?" I answered "DC....."