Wicked Zombies

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!

This is a book that I am working on. It is still a work in progress (obviously) I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions that you guys might have.

Jesse lived a simple existence. He would wake up in the morning, get ready for work and leave early so that he could stare at the waitress at the coffee shop. He hated coffee, but he would order a cup just for a chance to talk to her. He didn’t even know her name, but he was in love with her. The way she smiled at him when he came in, the way she said his name when she called that the order was ready. Everything about her he liked. It didn’t hurt that her shirt was too tight either. He dreamed about asking her out, but knew that he had no chance of that happening. Today was no different than any other day. He entered the coffee shop and ordered his cup and stepped back with the other patrons to wait for his order to be filled. He watched her as she walked from behind the counter and then over towards the seating area. He was appreciating her form when she did something completely unexpected. She dropped her tray and both hands went to her mouth. Stifling a scream she backpedaled into the shop and was babbling through her hands. Jesse being the curious sort went to look and was sickened immediately by what he saw. There was a woman on her knees bent over a man lying on the ground. It looked to Jesse like she was giving him CPR or something. When she raised up and looked straight at them strips of the man’s flesh hung from her mouth. Bright red blood squirted into the air as the man twitched on the ground. She made a noise that was halfway between a groan and a shriek and buried her face into the man again. The manager of the coffee shop turned up the tiny TV and people crowded around him. “People are encouraged to remain indoors. It is not clear at this time what has started the sudden outbreak of violence across the country. Please remain calm and remain indoors until further reports become available.” The announcer said. People in the coffee shop began to panic. “I have to get home to my wife and kids!” one man said. “I’m getting out of here!” the manager said. Jesse looked around and saw the people running for the door. He took a step towards the door and heard a whimper behind him. It was the waitress. “Do you have a place to go?” Jesse asked. She shook her head no. “You can come with me if you want to.” Jesse said. “I don’t know you, so I’m not going anywhere with you.” She said. “Suit yourself.” Jesse said. “I’m out of here.” She got up slowly while Jesse kept looking out the window and approached him. “Wait! I changed my mind.“Jesse, where are we going to go?” She asked. “First we are going to get to my car, then we are going to go to my place if it’s safe and grab some supplies.” Jessie said. “Then we will make our way toward my parent’s house. Dad has made preparations in case something like this happened.” She nodded her agreement. Jesse had watched people running by while he waited with her. They were running in the direction he had parked, so he felt comfortable heading to his car. He grabbed her hand thinking that he still didn’t know her name.

On their way to his car they saw several more of the things attacking people. They didn’t stick around long to watch this time. Her hand clenched tighter around Jesse’s as they headed for the parking garage around the corner. Jesse hopped the low wall in front of his car and started toward the car when he heard her clear her throat behind him. He stopped and turned and she held out a hand. “Help me over the wall! These shoes aren’t meant for these kinds of things.” Jesse muttered to himself and then went back for her. He looked up in shock at that moment as two of the things came toward her. She was absolutely oblivious to them and he grabbed her hand and yanked her over the wall. “Hey!” she protested. Dumping her on the ground, Jesse cut off the rest of her protests by pointing toward the things. They frustrated groans they made grew louder as they bumped themselves into the wall. “Let’s go!” Jesse said. He was gesturing franticly as she picked herself up off the ground and set about brushing herself off. Straightening her skirt and flipping her hair she strode past Jesse to the car. “Unbelievable.” He uttered. They made it to the car and took off down the street heading for Jesse’s apartment. “Do you think we can stop at my place and I can pack a few things?” she asked. Jesse was silent. “I said, can we stop at-“ she started. “I heard you the first time!” Jesse snapped. “These things are everywhere. Look around you, people are panicking and getting eaten! You almost got eaten!” He was practically shouting at her. Calming himself down he looked over at her, “I’m sorry.” He said. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Her lip quivered and he noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. “Sweet Jesus!” He muttered. “Please don’t cry.” He rooted around in his pocket and found a handkerchief, shook it out and handed it to her. She mumbled “thanks” and blew her nose. “Dammit!” she blurted. “I left my purse at the coffee shop! We have to go back for it! My cell is in there!” Jesse shook his head. “I can’t believe you!” He said. “Do you see what is going on around you?! It’s the end of the world as we know it and you are worried about your cell phone!?” He exclaimed. “Of all the things to be worried about, that isn’t one of them!”

Jesse was silent as he drove toward his apartment. He looked over at her and she was staring out the window. “What’s your name?” He asked. “Jennifer.” She mumbled. “Thanks for saving me from those things.” She said. “I should let you in on something.” He said. She turned to him and stared at him. “What is it?” She asked. “I have had a huge crush on you for a very long time.” He said. She smiled at him and said “So has a lot of people.” He blinked rapidly and his mouth opened and closed several times. She giggled watching him. “Look, lots of people come in and out of there every day. I get hit on at least once an hour every hour that I am working.” She said. “How much longer is it to your apartment? I have to pee.” She said. “Not long.” He said. She sat back and looked out the window again. “There’s not many of those things out this far.” She noted. He nodded in agreement. “I’m hoping it stays that way long enough for us to grab some stuff and head for the country.” “What is that up ahead?” She asked leaning forward. Jesse started to slow down as they approached a military vehicle parked across the road blocking it. Several men in uniform were set up in various positions near the truck. One of them waved for Jesse to stop and approached the car. He motioned for Jesse to roll the window down. “Where are you going?” He asked, his eyes flicking back and forth between both Jesse and Jennifer. “My apartment to gather some supplies and then to my parent’s farm about fifteen miles out of town.” Jesse said. “I’m afraid that I have to turn you around and send you back into town.” The man said. “We are establishing a quarantine area and no one is allowed past this point.” “Those things are back there!” Jennifer yelled. “I’m not going back there to get eaten and I have to pee!” She whined. The man looked at Jesse and Jesse rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry ma’am, but those are our orders and you will follow them or you will be shot.” He said. She started to protest as Jesse thanked the man and began to back the car up. “What are you doing?! She screamed at him. “I’m not going back there! Those things will eat me for sure!” He ignored her as he turned the car around. “Let me out, maybe I can get one of those soldiers to let us past. Maybe they will…” “Would you shut the hell up!” Jesse screamed. “I’m going to get us past them, I just don’t know how yet. If you have to pee that badly, I will stand guard and you can go on the side of the road.” She nodded and Jesse stopped the car. They both got out and the man jogged over to them. “What the hell are you doing?” He demanded. “She needs to pee.” Jesse said. “Oh, okay I guess.” The man said taking a step back. “Go over on the other side of the car.” Jesse said. “We won’t watch.” She nodded and squatted down behind her opened door. “Is there any other way out of town that we can use?” Jesse asked him. “No they are all covered so that we can contain whatever these people have turned into.” He said. “What’s that noise?” He asked. Jesse looked over the man’s shoulder at the trees. “Hurry up Jennifer.” He said. “We need to get moving.” She stood up “I’m ready.” She said. At that moment they heard a rising moan come from behind the trees. The trees parted and several of the things jumped out at the men around the truck. “Get in the car Jennifer.” Jesse said. He slid behind the wheel as she was shutting and locking her door. The man turned to run to his friends’ aid, and hesitated. “Get in the car!” Jesse yelled at him. He reluctantly got in. They watched in horrified silence as the men were overrun in seconds by twenty of the things. They were swarming out of the trees at the men. Jesse saw one man get yanked off his feet and pulled under the truck. Another man started running for the car with two of the things right behind him. A third person tackled him from his right and Jesse looked at his terrified expression and listened to his screams as all three things bit into him. In seconds the entire roadway was covered with blood. The things were hunched over eating the men. Jesse slowly put the car in gear and the transmission made a dull thud as it slipped into gear. As one the things turned to stare at the car. A moan came from them as they all got up and started towards it. “Get us out of here man!” The man in the backseat urged. “Hurry! Here they come! The moans increased in pitch as Jesse mashed the gas pedal and the tires shrieked on the pavement. He spun the car around and slammed it into drive. He smashed the gas pedal back down and stared into the rearview as the things faded into the distance.

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Comment by Komrad Venessa Wicked☭ on August 23, 2020 at 5:06pm

Have you finished your book? 

It has a Wicked start! 

Comment by the Urban Artist Group on January 24, 2010 at 6:57pm
Komrad Joy Killer is right, I doubt the manager would turn on the TV in the middle of the carnage. Like you said, it's obviously a rough draft. I would focus more on format, grammatical specifics, and character development, though. It very clearly can be a great story. Keep it up!

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