Wicked Zombies


"Okay zed-heads its time once again to pit monster against monster and find out which one you would rather have tearing through your rib cage. You should all know the rules by now, but encase your new of forgotten cause you had a walker chewing on your frontal lobe, ill go over them now. Each Wednesday I take to different types of zombie or zombie like creatures and ask you which one you would rather run into in a darkened ally. Then we tally up your votes and decide i winner, yes this is still a democracy, and majority does rule. 

Speaking of majority, last week I asked you the hard question of which psychologically controlling zombie you least wanted invading your thoughts. It was the showdown of DEAD SPACE'S paranoia inducing necromorphs, vs PONTPOOL'S language zombies! you all decided you'd much rather have you guts ripped out through your anuses by necromorph claws so DEAD SPACE IS OUR WINNER"

But enough about last week, we have two new challengers and nether one is going down without a fight. First up from the worst film adaptation of book ever (using only the tittle and nothing else!) We have the 'swarm Zombies' from WORLD WAR Z.



yes thats right the faster then an Olympic sprinter, more nimble then a Chinese gymnast and organized enough to form in-human towers dozens of story high, all somehow while decomposing. Are these impossibly ant like zombies that make me wonder if this whole thing started with an un-dead spider man. Now that's the sequel i want to see. These Amazing ghouls are the Ultimate fast zombies and any one who is not blessed by god with amazing luck powers. is gonna have a hard time taking these things on in any sorta numbers. Unless of course you have a deadly decease then you can stroll right through threw the horde like park on Sunday. Cause apparently viruses can tell from a distance if your health or not and won;t infect the sick! (I know dont get me started it was stupid the whole movie was stupid. Just look at CGI zombies and don't ask questions)

Next up on the list we take another trip into space for an alien contagion from beyond the stars. well our start, not every start that would be impossible, anyway. We travel to the planet Acheron, better known as (LV-426). To meet a non-human life form called the Xenomorph.


Okay okay i already know what your gonna say "but saint the Xenomorph's an alien not a zombie, your a noob". Well first off stop saying noob unless your a 13 years old and back in the year 2001 its not cool. next, i say that the Xenomorph, is just as much a zombie as anything else. before get your panty's in a twist let me explain why.

While Xenomorph's may not be undead the term zombie is no longer exclusively used for reanimated corpses. plenty of zombies nowadays in movies TV and video games are actually still alive, they just hunt and devour humans turning them into more zombie. thats brings me to my second point. What do  Xenomorph's do, what is their function. To infect another organism to replicate itself to infect more organisms. sounds an awful lot like our old palls the zombies dont it. at this point though I'm sure some of you are shouting into your computer monitors. "Non of that maters cause they're not human's, zombie have to be people reanimated or infected their always humans".

To you I say, first off you know i can't hear you right? That's not how screens work so why are you yelling. Second zombies do not have to be just people plenty of media from resident evil to zombeavers. Have given us portrayal of zombie animals and we don't question that those are in fact zombies. Lastly why are you so sure Xenomorph's are not people. Xenomorph's take on at least some portion of the DNA of their host. As proven in aliens 3 when the Xenomorph birthed from a dog thus taking on canine features. Or aliens vs predators where the hybrid Xenomorph had the three way hinge jaw. So in part they are humans, just alien zombie humans.

Now time for the bigger question which Blight on humanity would you rather undertake, tell me down in the comments the zombie with the most votes wins.



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personally i would go with the last of us. some of the special zombies in dead island just seam like they would be to much of a pain to take down. and the idea of fungus zombies really fascinates me.

I will go with Bloaters they sound all kind of gross. 

yeah the last of us have some really sick zombies. i have another one of these chose your own zombie posts up you should check that one out too.

To face and survive Rams, to face then be killed by and thus turn into Butchers. Reasoning I played Dead Island for four months straight, had four saved games and in the end. Playing at the hardest level each profile was stuck and forced to die over and over and over by The Butchers.

yeah dead island was a hard fucking game.

I'll start us off. I'd go for the Mesomorphs because even though the marker might drive you insane at least you know when you become a zombie. unlike with pontypool where any random word could be your trigger and boom your a zombie. in dead space you have to be killed or already dead in the presence of an alien marker. plus you dont have to feel guilty about cutting them into shishkabob with a flying saw blade.  

so which apocalypse would you rather fight through. come on people i want every komrad to vote here.

I would go with the Necromorohs because they seem to be the more predictable zombie.

i agree even though i do like the creativeness of language zombies. it's a great device but i just feel better with alien zombies trying to rip my guts out. does that sound weird?

new would you rather out right now?

Also i cast my hat in the ring for the Xenomorph's, just because face hugging, chest bursting alien zombies are still more plausible then parkour corpses.

Ridley Scott FTW



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