YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
NEWS FLASH!!! THE LATEST NEWS FROM ZOMBIE CENTRAL!
This just in. Reports are circulating that Former Komrad Dorr has been gang raped by a
tribe of Red Squirrels. The Allege attack Occurred out side [THOSE ASSHOLES WHO CAN'T BE NAMED] Hq., SF, Ca.
The Squirrels received a standing ovation from the Village People, Micheal Jackson and Pop Stars Alvin and the Chipmunks.
It was rumored that Dorr was trying to get away, but wasn't trying too hard.
You can't rape the willing.
The Squirrels then took Dorr and did unspeakable things to him while hiding in the bushes. For sixteen hours. Said they wanted him just for his nuts which he [Dorr] always kept in mayo jar. He couldn't afford the real ones.
Screams were heard at first but later turned to giggles.
You can't rape the willing.
Alvin and the Chipmunks are rumored to have made an offer to the squirrels asking if they wanted to trade. When asked why, Alvin just said "We want to make him our BITCH!"
The trade was made. Squirrels got two cases of Budweiser and a truck load of salted cashews. Dorr got punked by the Chipmunks!!
Later, A very beautiful Young Lady called up the Chipmunks and made them a very curious offer.
Four cases of Vodka and two truckloads of salted cashews plus a truck load of pork rinds!
The deal was made.
The young lady walked in and started bitch slap Dorr. Dorr screamed bloody murder.
The Chipmunks continued to party on with their new bitch, now being called Dorris.
One hour later, Komrad Lady Wicked Wolf was seen driving from the Chipmunks Estate with Former Komrad Dorrs penis and nut sack hanging from her cars rear view
mirror.
When asked why all she said was " BETTER THAN FUZZY DICE"!!!! and she drove off into the sunset.
The end.
No Chipmunks, Squirrels or zombies were hurt doing this News Report.
The same could not be said for Dorr. At last report, he was being serenaded by the Chipmunks who were singing "PRISON BITCH"!
And the rest is history.
Views: 131
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by KOMRAD RHINO☭ on
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dont forget the magnifying glass so all can see those little things DORR called nuts.
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Permalink Reply by The Dread Pirate Boodrow on
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What can I say friends? I have had a very depraved childhood. Late nite horror shows, Godzilla marathons.
you know, the good stuff!
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boodrow. little brother. that was by far a better fate then that 2 face little tin jesus, bitchboy, total ass monkey, of an excuse of a person. DORR. could come anywhere near to desereving. in my opinion. being punked by chipmunks, squirrels, and or zombies is way to easy on him. when he got nutted, it should have been with a rusty, dull, butter knife coated in salt and authentic mexican tobasco sauce. then if there was a true and just god. there would have been a small blob of scalding hot tar to cover where his little nutsack was. but thats just my thoughts on the topic. lol.
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Permalink Reply by Cobra Kommander on
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uhhh... Im speachless! LOL
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Permalink Reply by blackreign2020 on
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Holy shit. A fucking masterpiece. This has got to be masterpiece theater.
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UPDATE!!!
IT WAS JUST DISCOVERED THAT THE CHIPMUNKS SOLD THE FORMER KOMRAD KNOWN AS SMG DORR TO WALT DISNEY. IT IS SAID HE IS CURENTLY BEING SOLD AS A GAY PROSTITUTE TO PAY FOR ANTI-ZOMBIE MEASURES FOR ALL THE WALT DISNEY THEME PARKS BY MICKEY MOUSE. THE RUMORS SAY HE IS BEING SOLD FOR THE CHEAPEST RATES POSSABLE SO HE IS ABLE TO BE RENTED THE SAME TIME A GAY MAN RENTS A ROOM AT MOTEL 6 OR ANY OF THE WALT DISNEY GRAND HOTELS. WHEN MICKEY MOUSE WAS INTERVIEWED, HE SAID THAT THE FUND RAISER IS BECOMING A TOTAL SUCCESS AND SOON AFTER DISNEY WORLD IS TOTALY SAFE. THEY SHALL AUCTION SMG DORR TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER TO THE WOLD OF BDSM TO REAQUIRE THE PRICE THEY PAYED TO THE CHIPMUNKS. AUCTION WILL BE HELD ON EBAY. DETAILS TO SOON FOLLOW ON THIS REPORT!
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Keep me posted with details. I hear that they will have gator wrestling in Barataria on saturday nite. The Gators need something to warm up with!
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