YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
Just venting to add to the discussion board
*looks at discussion and sees Preacher, Preacher, Preacher, Preacher, Preacher.....*
*looks at number of members*
For real guys? One guy?
Anywho, this discussion has nothing to do with anything I just went through a sucky experience recently and had to re-evaluate my whole life. Coming back to civil society was hard on me. There's a life I was building for myself requiring a ton of work and a detachment of the mind and spirit from just about about everyone and everything and it never really got to me until recently; the isolation started to make me crack. Returning to a normal setting. I've missed a lot. I come from a large family and the thing about that is when you're born really close together in large numbers you also die together in large numbers and my family is dwindling and dwindling and dwindling -- not that I care. It's not like we're that close...for whatever reason my parents thought it would be an awesome idea to have me twenty years behind everyone else leaving me to be the only person in my generation.
Thanks.
The big deal I experienced this weekend is seeing my nephew for the first time. I was working for so long I missed his birth: no one knew how to reach me to even tell me my sister was pregnant. My neice is graduating high school soon. She's driving. I missed so much. And everyone could see the weight of it all over my face having to listen to these updates. I thought it was cool that we had this house and this farm and these goals and I thought it was cool we had our little group and I still am fascinated by the zombie culture because it's just awesome and it will always be awesome and even though that stuff was mostly for disaster relief vs. actually for the zombie apocalypse, it's easier to do business with people in this culture as opposed to explaining to a modern society the necessity of preparing for catastrophe. But got damn. Maybe I should just be a normal human being from now on. Someone with a family and friends I can actually feel and attach to. Someone who knows how to work a digital camera. It's not so bad in the modern world.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Aubrey Dontneedaknow on
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No. I basically invited you to something that was only meant for the core group/partners and I violated a confidentiality agreement. The most I can do is put you uber close to the properties with a map and a crash course and hope you just happened to get discovered. So no...officially. Because that would break a confidentiality agreement. But if I so happen to recall the work that is needed and the KOMRADZ so happen to be a militia and while on vacation in the woods you happen to discover their properties and you just happened to know a general idea and plan....than I totally might say yes. because really....it's an awesome place to vacation. especially if you're into manual labor. or you need a job in security detail and find yourself creating a buzz near people who may be searching for security detail. you may or may not get an official invite from them by me accidentally showing you where to vacation and telling you exactly what to do on vacation. after I put the KOMRADZ on a priority list. because I can't invite you to something I agreed not to talk about. even if i do like playing robin hood and giving poor people golden tickets.
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Would either of you be interested in a vacation that requires a map and a general discussion of politics?
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Permalink Reply by KOMRAD RHINO☭ on
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i am game.
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Yay!! lmao. I feel so naughty. This is gonna be so much fun! Okay. Send me your email address in a message and I'll walk you through everything. Cuz what has to happen, they'd need a militia in about 5 years but their potentials have to go through specific training. So as opposed to you being in the groups they "interview" I'll just send you on a vacation with lots of fun activities in a really cool place and whatever happens after that is sheer coincidence. =x
Preach if you want in too just send me your email address and I'll forward everything to the both of you.
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Permalink Reply by Komrad Kommissar Fennek on
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Sakrifice in the name of the Greater Good appears in many forms Komrad, your recent experiences temper your acceptance. "Modern world" is just a term used to dilute the general population and instill arrogance towards those with less material possessions. Your thought of "normal" life should not cause any doubt regarding your kurrent endeavors. What is the "normal" lifestyle of the "modern" world? Konsumerism and slavery. Selfishness and indifference.
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I've lived my whole life in selflessness and I've always been altruistic. I've always tried to share what I have with people who don't have as much as I do but it comes at a great personal cost. No one cares about ME. they care what i do for them. I'm a person. and I want a life where I can focus on ME. I'm not the right person to see this through anymore. My heart isn't in it I simply don't want to help anymore. I want my life back. With people. and family. where it's okay to be emotional and needy and consumed with my own well being. I EARNED the right to be selfish. People need to learn to fend for themselves and stop depending on me to be the perfect machine I don't doubt what I started I doubt if continuing was what was best for me. and it isn't. and i just wanna let it go and forget everything. i'm normal. family, friends, fun and completely focused on self. a permanent break.
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It sounds like you need to find some balance Komrad. It is possible.
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im trying. i guess only time will time how life unfolds for me but im trying to find balance and my place in the world and maybe its with that project and maybe it isnt but i sincerely just wanna collapse here and let life happen to me and hope that i made good decisions to fill my life out.
....(secretely cheesing at being referred to as "Komrad")
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Permalink Reply by Komrad Wayne on
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you have to make it happen, I sat around forever waiting for my life to "unfold" to see what it had in store for me..but living like that only brings what happens, in no case does life merely happen to anyone, how you approach it and handle it makes what happens happen, figure out what you truely want and start working towards it. I am currently in school, pursuing a communications major for journalism. Does that make me a part of the "modern world"? maybe, but will it give me an oppertunity for my words to be heard? Absolutely!!
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That makes my chest hurt. Being expected to work beyond what I have. It's ridiculous. at some point men need to be men. i've already done everything i wanna do in life. ive already made things that i want happen. i dont want to be out and about in the world. i want to be at home. safe. protected. in normal society. respected and beloved and admired. maybe not by everyone or complete strangers but i would at least expct my best friend of all people to understand. lol. i have to wait on HIM to get it together. thats crazy. men are dead weight. well. i dont have to carry him. so hes just....too young and unprepared to be with me and nothing will change the fact that i sincerely only want a home and a family with him because i apparently scream "housewife". and thats honestly all i want. everything else is just busy work and im tired of doing it so yeah, im gonna sit here. you know what i wanna do? i wanna make a list of all the awesome single guys i like and im gonna ask them if they wanna settle down. cuz otherwise life is just depressing and boring.
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word of advise. if your gonna make the list love. take the time to really know them before the proposal. otherwise you could get stuck with a saddle bag you dont want and will take advantage of you. nobody deserves that and your to classy a gal for that.
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