YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
Hospital AGAIN!!!!!!!
My oldest boy and my Wife went to the Shell station Saturday night to get everyone something to drink...While they were there, (from what my oldest has told me), my wife started having trouble breathing and ended up passing out...He quickly called 911 and in three minutes the ambulance was there...I get a phone call and thought my wife had wrecked my truck, because all the oldest would tell me was I needed to come get the truck...I was able to get a ride to the Shell station when an officer pulled me over to the side and told me that they had to intubate her and that they were breathing for her...Then the officer told me that she had died and the EMT's were able to bring her back...They take her to the hospital and it doesn't get any better....
It's pretty bad dude...She died on us three times, once at the Shell station, once on the way to the ER and again when they life flighted her to Jackson...They were able to get her back all three times and as it stands right now, she is in the Cardio Vascular Intensive Care Unit at Jackson Madison Hospital...She is stable, but critical. They have her on life support and they have dropped her body temp to 33 degrees to keep her brain from swelling...Today they started warming her body temp and said it will take a while in order for them to reach normal body temp...Once this is down, they will stop the sedatives and will allow her to start waking up to see if she'll start trying to breath on her own...Right now she is in a medicated coma...
After she comes to, if she comes to, she'll have brain, diabetes, kidney, lung and heart specialists prodding and probing her for the next 2 months and then she might get to come home after that...But as it stands right now, that's just being hopeful...
So right now I'm just running on instinct and nothing else....That's why I haven't been around for the last few days....I'm really just doing my best to keep it together for the boys...If I break they'll end up thinking or believing the worst and so I have to keep going and deal with this shit on my own...
Yeah her mom and sister and my sister and dad are trying to help me deal with it, but as it stands right now, none of them understand a mothering fucking thing and I wish people will stop telling me that they know what I'm going through and telling me to call them if I wanna talk...
They have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH AND I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING TALK TO ANYONE...Yes, some of them have lost spouses and friends and lovers and whatever, but they don't know how I fucking feel or what I'm going through...I have people saying I'm sorry dude, it must be tough...
YOU STUPID SONOFABITCH, REALLY, YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING TOUGH!!! WHAT GAVE YOU THE FIRST FUCKING CLUE SHERLOCK MOTHERFUCKING HOLMES???
DEAL WITH TWO KIDS who are MOMMA's boys all the way, One is 17 and the other is 9 and listening to them cry in thier rooms because their mom's aint fucking home...Try taking on the roll or putting on the shoes of someone who could defuse a situation by just looking at the kids...Take on the roll of someone who could make you laugh just by spilling a drink or something...
You want to know what the hell I'm going through, I'm pissed off at her for not taking better care of herself, I'm pissed off at me for not taking the fucking steps that needed to be done before her ass ended up back in the fucking hospital...I'm pissed off at the man upstairs for putting my family through this mess, I'm pissed off at everyone that has literally told me "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH", when they know FUCKING NOTHING about what I'm going through...
I'm pissed off at myself for not even being able to be in her room and not being able to look at her...I'm pissed off because I cant even bring myself to touch her...I'm pissed off because everybody keeps telling me I need to be there with my wife and they all know that the fucking 80 mile round trip eats a lot of my gas for my truck, let alone how limited my funds are in even keeping the fuel in the truck...
I'm fucking tired of everyone wanting to touch me and hug me or somehow show pity towards me...
If these fucking people really wanna help me, how about helping supply me with the funds I need to drive and see my wife...How about come watch my fucking dog for the day so I can see my wife while my kids are in school...How about fucking pulling out that gas can in your goddamn garage and putting it in my gas tank...How about helping me out with a little bit of food to feed my kids...
Quit telling that if there's anything you can do, to let you know...Because when I mention something about a few bucks for gas or a pack of fucking hotdogs so my kids can get something in their bellies, because our foodstamps haven't kicked in yet, and you tell me well I don't have it or I'll have it tomorrow...FUCK THAT, you said ask if I need anything to call, I call because I need a little fucking help because my wife is in the hospital and I need a little help with minor shit, and you're going to tell me you can't do it or you don't fucking have it...Well let me tell you MOTHERFUCKERS SOMETHING, I'M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU....Don't fucking tell me shit and when it comes time to collect on your word you back pedal and fight or lie to get out of owning up to your word....
Sorry, nothing like this applies to you dude...I'm just so tired, worried, confused, upset and just trying to keep a check on my emotions and shit that I didn't mean to rant...Things just don't look good around here...The shit seems to be hitting the fan and I'm not prepped for shit like this...Hell, zombies, I'm ready for...Losing my wife and having to raise two kids alone, dude that's got the shit scared out of me...
I'm trying to look on the fucking bright side, but it's really hard when you end up seeing your wife with tubes in her nose, lines in her arms and neck and a breathing tube down her fucking throat...
So if anyone wants to know how I'm fucking doing, My wife is on her death bed and I have to boys that are emotionally stressed the hell out because their mom is in the hospital and I'm scared shitless...
No offense to anyone, but please don't tell me you know how I feel...Because everyone feels shit different and this is the most scariest shit I've ever been through and this is NO FUCKING walking in the park....
I'm posting this as a reply to so many emails of everyone asking me how's things going...I don't mean any offense by any means of what I said or direct any of this towards anyone here, I just had to update everyone on what's going on...ANd today I really had enough of "If there's anything I can do, Call me" fuckers that I had to let it out...
Miss you guys....
Jessie
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jessie W. Garrett III on
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Hey guys,
I come to you with a sadden and broken heart...We decided to let my wife go and at 2:30 this afternoon, she passed away...She did however hang on long enough for the boys to get there and say goodbye...I'm lost and trying to keep a strong stance because my 9 and 17 yr old really need me now...It seems like a bad dream that I can't wake up from...I'm tired and I still have lots to do before I go to sleep...I'm not even sure what the hell I'm doing right now, we're just going to try and take it one day at a time...
The boys are having it rough, but we'll get through it....
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Permalink Reply by saint.357 on
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Oh my god man im so sorry you need anything im here. Just going through this my self im sure I can help you down the hard road ahead. Stay strong brother stay strong.
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Permalink Reply by KOMRAD RHINO☭ on
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Remember bro. You got family here. We are all here for you and our hearts ache for your family.
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Permalink Reply by Komrad Venessa Wicked☭ on
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Jessie I am so sorry for the loss of your Wife. You have to be Strong for your children now. Please know that my Prayers and Blessing are with you. I am sending you a private message.
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Thank You So Much...Everyone has been so cool...THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH....
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IF it doesn't work, try the link below....
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We just did the set up of the visitation and the services today...Everything will take place on Saturday September 6,2014 at Plunk Funeral Home in Camden, TN...Visitation will be between 2pm to 4pm and followed by the service...THe service will be short...After that she will be taken and cremated...Jason and Lj will have a cross pendant which have have some of her ashes in each, I will have a ring in which will contain some of her ashes...Her sister will also have a ring and her mom will have a heart shaped pendant with the same...The rest of her ashes will be taken by her mom to her birth town of Tarboro, North Carolina and buried with Denise's grandma and her nephew who past a few years back...
Anyways, I figured I would post up the visitation...And as it stands right now we've been telling everyone not to send flowers but to simply make a donation to the family in which will help with bills and funeral cost...Just to be cremated the cost is around 3 grand and after we decided to do this wish her ashes, which was only fair and following what Denise wanted, it turned out the cost jumped to $4500...So we at lucky, they could have jumped the rates but, we had a friend talk to them before we met with them so they cut us a special price...Which was nice of them....
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Brother. I can't say enough how sorry I am for your loss. I won't say I know how you feel because I never lost a wife. But going by the loss of my sister and other loved ones. All I can say is the pain from the loss never really goes away. But eases with time. And what helps is family and friends being there for you and all the good memories of good and special times you shared with her. I know I have not called much since this has happened. I been standing back so you had the room to do what you need to do and peace to grieve. But just know I am always there for you brother. Your not alone and I'm just a phone call away.
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Thanks Bro...You've helped out a lot with everything you have done...What did you think about the video?? I know making the video helped a lot with me, we're going to be playing it at her service tomorrow...I think it will be a good way for people to remember her...I couldn't put all the pics I wanted in it, because there weren't many of her during our time together, unless I caught her doing something with boys...Rest of the time it was her behind the camera...(LOL) But I was able to take pics from when she was a baby, a child, a couple from her teenage years and some from her adult life before me...
Hell, I remember, after me and her got together, she told me she had never went into an adult book store...Well, of course my crazy ass told her I would have to fix that...I found one and almost had to drag her by the arm to get her through the door...Once inside her entire body was about as red as an apple after she saw all the crap they sold in there...She did walk around in there a little, but she didn't go far from the door...It was so damn funny...I about busted a damn gut when we got back to the car...I was laughing so damn hard I puked and even gave myself the hiccups...
And don't get me started on our first official High Class Redneck Date...Jack Daniel's smelling change, hardee's and a trip to Buck's a local dance club...Jesus Christ that shit was so damn funny looking back at it...(LOL)
Naah, Bro, you've done enough for me and my family...You helped out a lot more then you will really know...THANKS FOR JUST BEING THERE....
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I had forgot to tell you that I thought the video was awesome. I myself don't know how to do those. Or I would have done some for my dad and sister. They put more then just a face to the one that passed. The video puts a life to the deceased that can be seen by those who didn't know them but are there to comfort those that did. I wish I could do that.
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It took me four tries in order to complete the video...Reason being is because I balled my eyes out...I finally finished it...We are using it at the end of the service tomorrow...It will be a nice service...Even though Denise wouldn't want such a big fuss, but if it helps her mom get closure then that's fine...I've already asked the preacher to try and keep no more then 30 minutes...But we'll see...
Well, I have had a pretty good day and the boys seem to have had a pretty good day...Tomorrow is the real test...So will probably be gone for a day or too, maybe...This seems to be helping me a whole lot...Thanks to everyone...
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Going through a lot
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Some good things are my son, has turned 18 and has also graduated high school...I'm very proud of him...He has plans of going back to school after the getting a job and saving money for the school with the music production studies he wants to do...So I am very proud of…
ContinuePosted by Jessie W. Garrett III on June 26, 2023 at 1:00am
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