YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE...MAYBE TWICE!
Ask Velma - SEX WITH ZOMBIES!!!
WARRING THIS CAME FROM MY WEBSITE AND IS NOT CENSORED BECAUSE OF THAT SO IF YOU ARE OFFENDED THEN YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T OF LET CURIOSITY GET THE BEST OF YOU... AFTER ALL IT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF SO MANY CATS!
Okay well on my website I opened a new discussion section that I call Ask Velma... Basically everyone can ask me questions about anything zombie... Like things you always wondered or something like that and I will answer the questions... Well the first question I got asked was about SEX of couse so I thought I would share it and the answer and then maybe you guys could come up with some more... So
What happens if a human has SEX with a Zombie,
will the human become one?
Okay your answer is a lil more complicated then what you probably think. It would depend on the specific kind of zombie outbreak there was. If it was something like the NANOBOTS then the answer would be NO unless the person controlling them took up that opportunity to infect a different host. As for the viruses... If it were a virus that acted more like the rage virus from the movies then the answer would be YES because a virus like that would be highly contagious in many aspects. This virus in real life would be more then likely a combo of viruses already in existence, such as the RABIES VIRUS, MAD COW or even the NECRO virus. All of which attack the stimulus portion of the brain and would in turn make the virus they are infected with more contagious and there for would be able to be transmitted by any bodily fluid. If it came from a virus that attached only the joints and only the motor control portion of the brain then the virus would more them likely move to slowly to be able to become infectious to that extent before the cells in the body would start to break down.
I hope this answered your question in full. I feel I would be amiss if I did not recommend SAFE SEX when it comes to SQUISHING with a zombie! I don't care how caught up in the moment you will get! If not then you will have the worst case of CROTCH ROT anyone has ever heard of! LOL... Oh and Tape it!!! If for no other reason then that is defiantly gonna be one of those things that you are gonna have to have proof of before you start telling anyone!
I found this on how to have sex with zombies!!!
Tips for the Living
Stay Away from the Hot Dead Chick
If your necrophilia or poor judgment tempts you to get intimate with a zombie…don’t! It will not end well. Zombies come on strong and won’t take no for an answer, but they only want you for your juicy flesh and your brains. Not your intelligence – your BRAINS. On the other hand, if you are dumb enough or hard up enough to have sex with a zombie, maybe it’s just as well that you get taken out of the gene pool.
Threesomes to Die For
And Just For Fun!!!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by KOMRAD RHINO☭ on
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JINKIES VELMA! okay. you got me. ı must admıt ıt. thıs ıs by far the most gross ıdea as of yet. lol. lıke SCOOBY DO and ı just blew chunks at the thought of thıs one. lol.
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Permalink Reply by Velma Giggle Wink on
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Jinkies indeed... LMAO... Though I am not responsible for the questions asked... LOL... People write in and ask whatever they like... I just answer them :) I'm like Dear Abby for zombies... LOL... This question was sent anonymously though so couldn't tell you who asked it... LOL... Would like to know myself though... LOL... But they asked so I had to answer :) LOL... Glad you liked it though... LOL... thought you guys would :)
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Permalink Reply by Black Plague on
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Well I can say that I don't care how horny I get I will Never look at a zombie for sex!
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LOL I'm right there with you baby... but they asked so I had to answer and now for those that like that kind of deadly kink they can know about how... umm... better... to ... do... it... EWW!!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Killa of Zombies on
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What would happen if zombies have sex?
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LOL I have no idea but I imagine there wouldn't be much left of either of them when they were done... LOL
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Permalink Reply by 10tqm1n9lwd55 on
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TALK ABOUT GETTING SOME BRAIN LOL
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WOW... LOL... That was pretty bad :) So bad it was good actually :) LOL
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Permalink Reply by Wicked Death☭ on
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If your girlfriend or boyfriend was recently turned into a zombie and you have decided to maintain a healthy sex life, I commend you. There is no reason that you can’t have sex with the undead. However, there are several precautions one should take and that includes having a zombie lovemaking kit.
The Zombie Lovemaking Kit
1. A Crucifix: It is always important to practice safe zombie sex.
2. Witch Doctor: You can have him do the camera work. If you are going to make love to the walking dead you should definitely videotape it. Plus if things get out of hand the witchdoctor can
3. Condom You don’t know how the zombie virus spreads and you certainly don’t want to have any little zombies running around the house now do you.
4. A Sword or Other Sharp Object: You should keep something sharp close to the bedpost just in case you have to separate the head from your significant other’s body.
5. sexy lingerie: Hey every zombie girl likes to look good don’t they?
6. Pornography: Just in case your zombie boyfriend can’t get it up.
7. A Good Book: I have screwed a lot of girls who just laid there like a corpse. Its probably a good idea to bring something to read just in case its not all its cracked up to be.
8. The Zombie Survival Guide: One should always have one of these for any situation. You never know when you are going to have to defend yourself from a horde of undead zombies.
9. Candles: Let’s keep it romantic. Plus zombies hate fire so if your lover gets out of hand, you can set them on fire.
10. A Paper Bag: Your undead boyfriend or girlfriend might not be looking as good as she used to.
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LOL Thats great... Can I add your name and your response to the answer page on my site as well?it would go in here somewhere and saying that it came from you... :)
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Permalink Reply by chris lucas on
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intersting but i will have to say never ever would have sex with a zombie not even if i was the last man around i would look for a bush before i had sex with a zombie lol
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Well not really gonna be the option for me either sweetie but now who can and will be ready... LOL everyone has their own kink :)
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